Preparation: forming an atmosphere of grace:
* Pray that God will lead you to the sources of wisdom you will need.
* Seek guidance and resources from The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality - This weighty document quotes from over 40 Church encyclicals and letters.
* Discuss what you learn with other parents who seek Church teaching about sexuality.
* Create opportunities to grow close to your child in faith and friendship.
* Strive to understand and live the teachings of the Church regarding marriage and family in an ever stronger and more joyful way. Your example teaches without words everyday.
* Find families and peers who are growing in their Catholic faith to befriend your children, perhaps in a youth group or on a family retreat.
Guidelines to Follow in Talking to Your Child about Sexuality:
Be Clear
* When you have the initial conversation with your child at puberty, know that your personal teaching as the parent is the irreplaceable best. (The Church has always affirmed that parents have the duty and right to be the first and the principal educators of their children, especially in the area of sexuality.) T&M, #5
* Be ready to give your child the physical facts about changes that are beginning in his or her body -and the facts about what is happening in the opposite sex. (There are good resources.)
* Place all your teaching in the context of marriage and the family.
* Continue your conversation, day by day, in brief words, in your response to situations (TV or peers, for example) as they present themselves; and teaching moments you create as you sense the need.
* Always educate your child for responsible love which respects self and others.
* Teach reverence for every human life.
Be Positive
* Communicate the amazing gift of procreation and the beauty of the Church's teaching about sexuality.
* Focus on the virtue of chastity which teaches self-discipline and purity of mind and body. This develops true self-respect and makes a person capable of respecting others.
Be Delicate
* Do not tell your child more than he or she needs to know at the time, and be gentle with your choice of words. Colleen Kelly Mast recommends: "At adolescence, we need to sit down and explain those details, using simple language and line drawings that preserve the wonder and awe of God's creation."
* Our culture is often vulgar, but we can treat the good and beautiful in a respectful way.
* Homosexuality should not be discussed before adolescence (or about age 15), unless made necessary by circumstances.
Be Prudent
* Let your initial conversation be only the beginning. Continue this conversation through adolescence and into adulthood. This assures a gradual and sound education for love. ( Keep in mind that we grow in understanding as we teach our children! )
* Become aware of what is taught in your school! Even an abstinence program is taught without reference to morals, and usually includes "safe sex" instruction for students who choose to be sexually active. This may mean condom demonstrations and worse. Be proactive in finding out the truth as a parent, a citizen, and a taxpayer.
* The Church teaches that the only way to avoid AIDS is by abstinence before marriage, and fidelity in marriage. Compare this to what is taught at school.
Links to Learn More:
*www.sexualwisdom.com
